"Convoy of ten barges cleared Vancouver Harbour last heading for Songhees Reserve and Sechelt, bearing food for starving Indians. This remarkable present day give-away was made possible through the generosity of H. Mortimer Goat. Attractive Molly Ha-Ha gets big war whoop for diplomatic negotiations as Mediator. Goat bearded in den. Millions to charity."
      From "MARINE – LATE SAILINGS"
      Savary Pudding, 1939

"To the wild cheering of a hoarse-throated audience Baron Von Ustoff refused to be thrown by King Kong Freddie. Mr. Ustoff poured blood in a charming matched two piece suit of shipdeck grey."
      From "BEHEMOTHS BATTLE TO DRAW ON SHIPDECK"
      Savary Pudding, 1939

"Miss Melvin, running for Glasgow veterans beats Beefy Marpole Freddy to tape in shipdeck 10-length handicap."
      From " "GRACE" before "MEAT" "
      Savary Pudding, 1939

"Winner jubilant. Angry mob storms ship deck with cries of Unfair! Fake! Phooey! Mid-Pacific - By Direct Wire - An unknown farmer from Marpole burst into the nation's headlines yesterday when happy, carefree Chuck Scott was told he had won the Grand Camp Sweep. But just as the triumphant smile had crashed across his olfactory promontory and assaulted his lower jaw into a howling retreat from his gleaming upper bridgework, cries arose from below as an angry mob stormed the deck where he stood. They shouted loudly of unfair play. Scott, they claimed, had had inside information. The prize, they asserted, belonged to the popular Deacon Arthur Mortuary who had been clocked two minutes too soon.
      MUTINY OVER THE BOUNTY
      A puzzled, hurt look like a cold wind, sweeping clouds across mountain and chasm, twinged Chuck's sturdy features, a tear gathered, his pine-clad brows, as if bearing too great a weight of human sorrow, fell over his incredulous eyes. He faced the crowd, firm as a haggis, and asked paintively - "Who! ME?" "
      From "Scott Wins Sweep"
      Savary Pudding, June 3 1939

"Happy Chuck Scott, thrust over night down the public throat, was interviewed today.
      "I will hang on!" he states. I am glad I did not sell out my half-interest for five thousand. I shall now send my two daughters to college. I can now buy the little house by New Westminster I have longed for and have two eggs for breakfast. And, he added as an afterthought, "Who is this Deacon Mortuary?" "
      From "Farmer Remains Adamantine"
      Savary Pudding, June 3 1939

"Mr. Scott, delivered an interesting lecture on Friday evening before a tired audience. Two persons were completely bowled over by the speaker's eloquence & were later put to bed where they slept more comfortably."
      From "Lecture on Art"
      Savary Pudding, June 3 1939

"In an informal little chat with Mr. P.V. Ustinow, he tells me that he has no clear recollection of just where he viewed the stars for the first time but he thinks it was somewhere between Stamboul & Nijninovgorod. He has distinct remembrances, as a youth, of riding for miles & miles - and miles - on the back of a camel across the desert wastes. Dates were common food to him then & many a night, sitting by an oasis where he was encamped, he has spent hours listening to the lusty tales of dark-bearded men wearing scimitars & bed-sheets - His mornings were generally spent in folding the tent, milking the goat, weaving rugs or drinking coffee. (as a coffee-maker he is without peer).
      He tells me that many of his happiest moments were spent chasing the soap in the basin of the Euphrates, that ancient river running between Jerusalem & Bagdad (with extensions at both ends). Such names as these roll trippingly off his tongue: St. Petersburg, Paris, Munich, Shavotzky, Omsk, Tomsk & Constantinople, Alexandria, Haifa, Berlin, Vladivostock, Lethbridge, Calgary & Marpole. He know the night-life of all these places. His favorite food is Haschti-Paschti, a richly spiced Eastern dish that takes 7 weeks to prepare. This dish is washed down by vodka. His favorite perfume is Camel-ia.
      From "Interviews with well-known people No. 1 Mr. P.V. Ustinow"
      Savary Pudding, June 3 1939

"Maharajah A.S. Pell - reclining on the edge of a 300 ft. cliff, eating cheese sandwich sahibs - scarin' his harum, cracking crusty gags and generally doing all right."
      From "View of the Day"
      Savary Pudding, June 6 1939

"Mr. Peter Aspell received serious head injuries (you’ll probably note the effects later) upon falling down cliff at meadows. Companions were convulsed as landslide swept by. Matters were much complicated by one horse halter, wild oats, one bucket, pretty stones collected by a blonde. However the valuables were finally picked up along with pieces of asphodel."
      From "FLASH!! EXTRA! EXTRA! ART STUDENT FALLS OVER CLIFF"
      Savary Pudding, June 6 1939

"Professor M. Kelk returned late yesterday with the remains of a deer. Expects to give lectures with it at the Van. School of Art when it has quieted down. She will outfit an expedition to go back for the wish bone sometime later this week."
      From "FAMOUS ANATOMIST RETURNS"
      Savary Pudding, June 6 1939

"On board H.M.S. Zig-Zag. From five miles out, H.M. sailors sighted a red blob on the distant shore line. Focassing (sic) his spectacles on the "blob," the Cap't. confirmed it to be J. Shadbolt (Alias Sarcastic Shad) (Alias Scragy Jack) (Alias Popeyed Bolt). They reported his location to shore officials and it is hoped that he'll be rounded up."
      From "Sailors Sight Slinkie Convict!"
      Savary Pudding, June 6 1939

"With all this beauty round us we all feel that the men could do a little painting up. May we suggest:
      1. Plucked and arched eye-brows for the Scott
      2. Sanguine finger and toenails for Mr. A-mess
      3. Hot oil and Henna rinse for Shaggy-Shad
      4. A pin-curl special for Mr. Mortuary
      5. Rubinstein’s Plastic Pack for More M’duke Lamb
      6. AND ONE THING WE ARE SURE OF – (to reduce the Fire Hazard)
           the Baron’s eyelashes singed, dimples blacklisted, perhaps Solitary Confinement."
      From "BEAUTY SUGGESTIONS"
      Savary Pudding, June 6 1939

"Molly-Ha-Ha the dapple-dark-loving dare-devil threw all fear to the winds as she slept spook-surrounded on the sand-dunes. Kept warm by generating her own heat until “the rains came” and our Molly retired to the play room wicker basket under the Union Jack, to dream of the Norwegian King and Queen."
      From "IN THE FIRING LINE – GIRL RISKS LIFE UNDER THE SHOOTING STARS"
      Savary Pudding, June 7 1939

"J. Shadbolt - Just come back from Nowersoffski - taking part in iconoclastic controversy."
      From "Hi Run - and - Firun"
      Savary Pudding, June 8 1939

"Aspel - can hit a cuspitidin at 10 paces and still make it ring."
      From "Hi Run - and - Firun"
      Savary Pudding, June 8 1939

"Crime at Deadman's Gulch. Soft spoken Dick fooled, foiled, and finished. Believed work of notorious Molly ha-ha Gang. Reward."
      From "FLASH"
      Savary Pudding, June 8 1939

"Breath-taking feats and hair-raising acts made stout-hearted men fade away, and faint-hearted women ________ ? Fake stopping of the heart caused strong-minded Barbara to show the white feather. The knife act gave everyone the shudders, and he was only stopped from performing more horrible feats by the refusal of the audience to stand any more."
      From "The Russian Wizard Causes Near Panic"
      Savary Pudding, June 9 1939

In the days of his youth father Shadbolt replied:
"From Tree to tree I'd jump and slide,
I was a Tarzan tall and strong
I played with monkies all day long."
And now in spite of all his years,
He still makes noises that rend our ears.
     From "Shadzan the Ape-Man"
      Savary Pudding, June 9 1939

"Miss Molly Lamb and Mr. Fred Amess enjoyed a pleasant canoe trip around Ragged Islands this week. Mr. Amess found Miss Lamb a delightful companion, if on the quiet side."
     From "Social Notes"
      Savary Pudding, June 9 1939

"Now at last we know the reason for Pete's shining light, late last night the said party was espied slinking furtively through the kitchen clasping a handful of sinister looking bottles - Beware Peter! - we've got you covered."
     From "Sh - Strictly Confidential"
      Savary Pudding, June 9 1939

"Miss Melvin gave a bairning recitation while the audience "cuddled doon" in armchairs and enjoyed it immensely."
     From "Personal"
      Savary Pudding, June 9 1939

Four poems by Grace Melvin: Wet Woods in June, Sound of the Sea, The Woods at Night, Requiem.
     From "Outdoor Sketches"
      Savary Pudding, June 1939